I just really need to get these dates down so I don't forget what a miracle this has been:
May 13 - the idea forcefully came to be that we need to move to WA this summer.
May 18th - William had agreed to plan, I started packing/cleaning the house to ready for selling process.
May 24th - the home became officially listed on the MLS.
June 4th - offer received to purchase our home.
June 5 - offer accepted.
July 1 - we move.
This has truly been miraculous and divinely inspired. As I look at all of the homes similar to ours in our locale, our has been the only one that has sold in the last few weeks. We are so blessed and blessed and blessed. More later .....
Monday, June 10, 2013
I just really need to get these dates down so I don't forget what a miracle this has been:
Posted by Janell at 10:02 AM
Monday, April 22, 2013
It has been two weeks and time has been kind. I am learning about the stages of grief, how it is not a linear process. I have gone forwards and backwards through the stages of denial, anger, bargaining/guilt, depression and acceptance. I have particularly felt a lot of guilt - things left undone or unsaid. Which I find really interesting.
The last time I was with my Mother, I spent a week caring for her night and day while my Father was out of town. By the end of the visit, I told myself that I was prepared for her passing. (Obviously, though 'prepared,' I in no way shape or form envisioned her passing just 6 weeks later.) I think it is virtually impossible to be 'prepared.'
I know there are so many ways we can try and beat ourselves up for imperfections - almost as if these nearly inconsequential actions or in-actions completely negate the great love we have for the person we lost. And that is simply not true. I know I wish I had been a better daughter in so many ways to my mother. And I also know that the love I have for my Mother is so real, and that she knew it. I really do have to let the little things go.
A very special time for me is that during my week with Mom in February, My sister Karen and I were able to take her to the temple, to do one brief ordinance and then go to the celestial room. I distinctly remember holding my mother's hand and telling her that I loved her. That I looked into her eyes and made that statement. That is the moment that I got to tell my Mother goodbye. I didn't know it at the time, but I was granted that tender mercy. It was nothing short of miraculous that we got Mom out of the house and to the temple that day. And that is one of my memories that I am going to treasure always.
I love you, Mom. I would give just about anything to go back to February and have one more day to care for you and spend time with you. But I can't. So I will remember the times we did spend together, and the wonderful qualities of your character. And I will share those times with my children, so they know how blessed they are to be your grandchildren. Instead of lamenting my perceived mistakes, I am going to celebrate your life. I miss you.
Posted by Janell at 9:46 PM
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I went through some of the photos taken at Mom's funeral and burial, and felt like these three were not too intrusive to share. I absolutely love the picture of my sisters comforting my father. The hours and days since Sunday, April 7, at 6:34 p.m. when I got the call that Mom was at the end, and Monday, April 8, at 11:34 a.m. when I got the call that she had passed away, have seemed so very, very long.
Tomorrow Ezrie and I head back to our home and our own little family. Two weeks from now I will be traveling to Washington to help my Dad go through our family home, and to attend a memorial open house for my mother there. It still seems so unbelievable that she is not in this mortal world. I am so very grateful for the knowledge that she is with God.
Posted by Janell at 7:29 AM
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Tonight is another hard night to get through - there have been several this week. Mom's funeral and burial occurred yesterday. There have been many very sweet moments during this week. The two highlights have been attending the temple Thursday morning with my cousin Julie, and my sisters Angela and Karen. There was a moment where I felt my Mother there and that brings comfort. Another moment involves a momento I purchased to leave in Mom's casket with her, which I found out later was tied to the last word she uttered. That made me feel very connected to my Mother.
I was one of several who briefly spoke at Mom's funeral. I presented a Top Ten list - the Top Ten Things I Learned from My Mother. Some were silly, some were serious. My Mother taught me: the importance of families, that homemaking is one of the most important roles a person can undertake, how to be a 'constant' in your children's lives, patience in long suffering, strength (she is the strongest person I know), and most importantly, how to love (how to love the Lord, parents, your spouse, your children).
My Mother will always be the best person I know. The most Christ-like. The most uncomplaining. The most patient. The most gentle. The most dependable. The most loving.
I am so very eternally grateful to have a Mother who's loss is so deeply felt and so deeply mourned. I want to live every day of the rest of my life in such a way that my Mother's memory and life is honored.
I love you, my beautiful Mother.
Posted by Janell at 6:50 AM
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The Longest Day of my life began Sunday, April 7, 2013 at 7 a.m. when I woke up to conference Sunday. That weekend I had done the biggest whole house clean that had been done for months, and as a result I had about eight loads of laundry that had been washed and needed to be put away - which I did while watching conference.
Thirty-four minutes after conference ended (at 6:34 Eastern time), I got a call from My sister Karen. The call lasted 13 seconds. I was told that Hospice had just told my family that Mom might be in the last stages of dying. I said, "tell Dad I am on my way." Karen said, "we aren't sure what is going to happen, they just said she 'might be,' it's possible she could improve." I said, "I don't care - I am on my way."
The first flight I could get on left at 6:15 a.m. and arrived at 11:10 a.m. mountain time. I bought the ticket and began making arrangements for the four kids. By 8 pm, I had my flight, the kids and William all sorted out for the next five days.
I drove out to my dear friends' home, the Bishop's home, and received a blessing of comfort. This blessing told me that the Lord loved me, and that I would have an appreciate for and understanding of the Lord's time as I spent time with my family.
I was back at my home, and my daughter Ezrie had been upset and crying. She had left me a letter, including illustrations, pleading her case as to why she needed to come with me. I could not deny her this request, and shortly thereafter Ezrie had a ticket to travel with me. All the boys stayed home.
My friend Jen was organized to take Ezrie and I to the airport at 4:45 a.m the next morning. Ezrie and I began packing our suitcases. Fortunately, my friend Emily came over to give moral support and assistance while we were packing and reminded me of key items we needed to pack. I remember being very disoriented and unable to think clearly as I tried to figure out what to put in our suitcases.
By 10:30 pm I had Ezrie asleep and I was trying to get some sleep. I knew that Mom was requiring round the clock company and I was trying to sleep so I could relieve my sisters and father who had been constantly caring for mom. Mom had only just taking a really bad turn on Saturday. While she has struggled with severe pain for decades, the pain got to be so severe that she couldn't stand to be touched, yet couldn't get up alone. Her body stopped being able to make the smallest movements, and she needed to be carried to and from the bathroom. This took several people's help because she was so contorted in pain and her flexibility was so minimal that it was a very difficult task.
I must interject something about 'the cake' at this point. And this still hurts me. When mom started hospice, which we determined she ended up being on for 11 days, being so far away from her was heartbreaking. I decided that something I could do was feed her sweet tooth. I bought several small packing boxes, and decided that every Sunday night I would make some type of dessert and mail it to her Monday. The first Monday I sent her 'from scratch' brownies from a new recipe I was trying out. The second week, we had just finished spring break, and I was scrambling to get caught up after the break. Circumstances combined, and I didn't end up getting her package off (mom's recipe for Turtle Cake) until Thursday. The cake got to her Saturday, the day she started to rapidly go downhill.
After the phone call from Karen that Sunday night, I was absolutely devastated. I was so mad at myself that I didn't stick to the schedule I wanted to have so this package could have arrived when Mom was in better health. I felt like a failure - that I had messed up the one thing I was trying to do to show love to my mother. I later found out that the last thing mom ate was a piece of this cake, which comforts me to know that she was able to partake of the tangible love I wanted her to have.
So Ezrie was asleep and I was freaking out because I couldn't fall asleep. In the end, I gave up on the idea of sleeping and ended up staying up all night. The most conscious feeling I had was a feeling in the pit of my stomach - the feeling of anxiety of - 'get there, get there, get there.' I started getting ready at 4:00 a.m., and Ezrie and I began our travels. All flights when smoothly, and we touched down in Salt Lake City at 11:10 a.m. My aunt Effie and Uncle Merrile picked Ezrie and I up from the airport. I sent a text to Karen that we were leaving the airport and would be to Mom's house soon.
As we were talking, my Aunt, who had visited my Mom the night before and has seen several loved ones pass away in the later years, told me that when she had seen mom she was under the impression that Mom could hold on a few more days. I was relieved. All I had been thinking about was taking Mom's hand and telling her 'I love you.' At 11:36 a.m., Karen called with The News. Mom had passed away at 11:10 a.m., just as my plane had landed.
The airport ride from SLC to my mom's house, depending on the driver and traffic, can be up to an hour and a half long. Though the timing of Mom's passing of course had nothing to do with any desire on my part, if the Lord had asked me "Janell, you can shorten your mother's suffering in this life by an hour and a half, but I must warn you, it will mean considerable pain on your part - what do you choose?" Without a moment's hesitation of course I would elect to take on pain so Mom's would be shortened. So while I would choose things to occur this way if I'd had a say, the heartbreak of not getting to Mom in time is one of the hardest things about this process to me. I just wanted to hold her hand, to tell her I loved her, and to be present while she passed from this life to the next.
I understand that an hour or so before she passed away, she received a Priesthood blessing from my brother Scott. The blessing talked about how her time on earth had been prolonged because of the Lord's plan. That part of this plan was so her children and grandchildren could learn lessons about faith, endurance, humility and long suffering, from her example. She was told that she would pass from this life when both she and the Lord were ready for that to occur. And they both were ready at 11:10 a.m. on Monday, April 8, 2013.
Mom passed away in the rocking chair she had spent most of her waking and unwaking hours in the past five years. After she passed, my Dad, brother in law Brent, sister Karen, and nephews Brandon and Matthew carried her into the hospital bed hospice had provided, and she waited there for me to arrive. I admit shock when I saw mom. The severe pain she had been in had not yet left her face. But nevertheless, I got to kneel by my mother's bedside and hold her hand. My siblings and their spouses and my father all kneeled around her and we had a family prayer. I stayed with mom as long as I could until the gentleman from the funeral home came to transport her.
Aunt Effie and my Cousin Julie brought over food to feed an army that night, and a lot of family gathered at my parents' home. After every one left, and it was just my father and I, i broke down again, and told my Dad, "I just don't know how to get through each day without my Mom." Even though we have lived in Australia and then Indiana the last eleven years, my mother has been a part of my daily life. Wondering what kind of a day she's having, what kind of a night she had, trying to figure out a time when i could call and have a few words with her, planning the next visit to see her -- these are all things that have taken up my time and my thoughts over the last decade.
Though at this stage I had been up for 42 hours, I needed a sleeping pill to finally get a bit of relief. I decided I wanted to sleep in the hospital bed where my mother had last been. I desperately wanted - and still want - any type of closeness I can find to my mother.
Yesterday my dad, Scott, Karen and Angela visited various cemeteries and choose a place to get burial plots for both of my parents that is three miles away from their Utah home. While they were out, I went through the house and moved various belonging of my mother: her medicine suitcase, her shoes, her walker, her purse, and put them in the closet where my dad could have access to these things, but they were constantly underfoot. The most necessary rearrangement was the chair that she had spent 98% of her life these past few years, which had been in the living room. The pain of seeing that chair vacant was too much. We moved her chair to the office, and replaced it with another rocking chair.
Yesterday afternoon, Ralene and Marc's flights landed just in time for them to meet the rest of us at the funeral home where we made decisions about mom's casket, and the details of her service. We are having her viewing at 1pm in Provo, followed by the funeral at 2pm, and the burial afterwards. I as well as a couple of my siblings will say a few words, Angela is going to play a musical medley. We want to keep it short and sweet, just like my mother.
All of my siblings are here and we have the next several days to mourn and grieve together and to remember and honor mom. Something that is hugely important to me is that a few of us are going to go to the temple on Thursday. I really want a chance to be in the best place to say goodbye to my real mother - her spiritual self - before we lay her physical body to rest.
Knowledge of God's plan, that there is life after our mortal bodies die, that we can be with our loved ones forever brings so much peace. But the 'natural man' in me recognizes the inevitable pain this separation brings. I think my father said it best when I was speaking to him on the day she died. He said, "you know, I have been so blessed. I have had 52 incredible years with the most amazing woman. That is more than a lifetime for some people. I just wanted more." I agree. I have been so blessed this past year. I saw my mom last February after I took the WA bar. I saw her in June when I sworn into the WA state Bar, I saw her in October after her stroke. I saw her in December. I was here seven weeks ago and had the opportunity to take care of her for a week while my Dad was gone. I have been so blessed with all of this time - I just wanted more.
One last hug, one last conversation, one last chance to say "I love you forever." And even though I did not get those opportunities, in my heart, I know that she knows. Mom, you are the best woman I have ever known. You were an angel on earth during your mortal life and now you are an angel in heaven. I will see you again, and when I do, I will take your hand and we will both run together - because we can. Thank you for being the best example of courage, patience, humility, and love that I have ever seen. Your legacy lives on in your children and grandchildren. Until that time .....
I love you
Posted by Janell at 9:49 AM
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
At this time of the year, when I start hearing about other people's tri-lingual, global-trotting, uber-rich, gifted families that all play golf, snorkel, horseback ride, have funded non-profit charities, all while renovating their homes, I think about what I would really write in a Christmas card update letter, if I actually sent one out.
Well folks, this year, here is my gift to you .....
Top Family Achievements:
1.) This year, our biggest family achievement is that the six of us all still reside in the same home together. I am grateful for that.
2.) My biggest personal achievement is a discovery: hypothetically, a person can throw on a sweatshirt, go put gas in the car and get groceries - all without ever having replaced the upper undergarment famously burned in the 60's.
3.) Runner-up personal achievement : any day I manage to get through without having to cook dinner.
4.) Kids achievements: (in order to protect the guilty, I will not name names, but they know who they are....)
A. Being able to successfully pee without getting any urine in the toilet whatsoever.
B. Playing computer or video games from sunup to sundown on a Saturday (to keep the record straight, you think you "got away with it," but it was a day I just let you do it).
C. Mastering the art of nagging, demanding, manipulating, to the point that i will unpredictably state sometimes "fine, yes, just leave me alone!"
D. Is no longer that 'perfect baby' and is now capable of shenanigans like the other children.
I will take the real us any day. The good, the bad, the ugly: this is what makes our family ours. As much as they daily drive me insane and push my limits, they daily melt my heart and make me grateful - so very, very grateful that God has blessed us with four children.
On the days that I feel like the burdens are too heavy, I look around and count my many blessings for all that I have in my life. Heavenly Father has truly looked after us. My Savior has walked side by side with me many days. Through all the chaos, love is present in my home. Who wants a perfect family anyway =).
Posted by Janell at 7:51 AM
Sunday, November 11, 2012
William and I have spent the last four days participating in professional training. We are now trained Parenting Coordinators, which is a role where either attorneys or mental health professionals help couples who are divorcing, who are high conflict, become more educated regarding how their behavior affects their children, and helps them mediate parenting issues. I am really excited to take this training and implement it into my professional life. It has been really surreal to attend this training with William, and discuss a field where our professions diverge. The role of Parenting Coordinator is one implemented in our current location, but I am wondering how it will translate to Washington.
Because we are finally going to move. My mother had a stroke a few weeks ago. Jaxon and I went out for a few days to help my she and my Dad. During those days, it really became clear to me that now was the time to make the move. And it coincides well with William's education. After this spring, he will be finished with all of his coursework, and has cleared it with his school that he will do his dissertation long distance. I'm not sure how the 'internship' piece of the puzzle is going to work out, but we will figure out each step as we move along.
For now, the plan is to move to the city I was raised in. To do this, we need to sell our home - a kind of scary prospect, but we will work it out. It has been a time of many changed plans, and reorganizing. I am grateful for a husband that pretty much goes along with the major things I want to do. He is very supportive.
I want to dive into Parenting Coordination as soon as I can get some clients in Indiana. I feel that this is an area that really calls out to me. Advocating for children would be very rewarding (and difficult, I am sure).
Posted by Janell at 8:24 AM
Sunday, September 9, 2012
I have really, really, really missed the memory recording and thought processing I have been able to do while blogging. I am going to make an effort to make more time to do things I enjoy, like writing. I am guessing most parents feel this way, but I feel like from the time I get out of bed in the morning until the time I go to sleep at night, virtually every moment of my day revolves around taking care of my family. I am going to try and carve out moments for myself.
I love how the kids crack me up on a daily basis. Here is last night's: I was at the store with Jaiden (5) when we were approaching an extremely large woman. I knew what was coming, and I was trying to avoid it. I just watched Jaiden. First, he started staring. Then he brought his finger up to point and opened his mouth to say something. I effectively distracted him and we were able to move on. Later, in the car, I talked to him about when we see people who are different, whether they are a different size or whatever, that it is rude to point and say things about them - that those things could really hurt feelings. Jaiden said, "did I say something?" I said, 'no.' Jaiden replied, "yes, I did." "What?" "Get out of my way." Oh my - he is too much.
The second most embarrassing moment of my life and one of the most hilarious moments happened this week. If only I was being video recorded at the time! The true hilarity of the situation is lost if you don't know the other person involved. So all I am going to say is "are you still there?" and "Just walk away." And I do have to say that I am one of the most ridiculous people I know. I really am. So zip it!
Ezrie is my little drama queen. She really, truly, in nearly every way possible is a mini-me. She is curious and persistent, and unrelenting beyond belief. She likes to know everyone's business. She is a little mother to her brothers.
Her latest kick is to outline all the reasons why life is so much harder for her than it is for other people. I was trying to talk to her tonight about how, instead of looking for the negative, she should look for the positive. But I think next time we talk about it I am just going to recommend looking for humor. Little things make me laugh or make me smile all day long. Yes, I become a crazy person laughing to myself over things that occur to me. But it sure beats the alternative.
Posted by Janell at 6:24 PM
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
What a crazy ride the last few months have been! As I think about what stages and ages the kids are at right now, I know, that as the years pass and I look back on their childhoods, this very time we are in right now is the time I am going to fondly remember - even long to relive for a day. The kids (8,7, 5, 14.5 months) are still innocent, sweet (even Jaiden, when he comes to sit on me because he knows he's going to fart), and loving. Jaxon has been an absolutely joy since the day he was born - and I am not exaggerating that one bit. It takes nothing away from the other kids as infants at all - in fact, part of what is so joyful about Jaxon is seeing the other kids interact and play with him. I am going to remember seeing Levi and how tender and gentle he is with Jaxon - pushing Jaxon out in the big toy police car. I am going to remember how much Ezrie and I fought over who's turn it was to do x, y or z with Jaxon =) (both of us saying - on my work days - but I haven't seen him all day!). I am going to remember Jaiden and Jaxon cuddled up on the couch while Jaxon drank his morning milk. I am going to remember Jaxon with his smile that takes up his whole face, and his arms stretched out to me. These are the golden years - we are living them right now. Too precious for words.
At the same time, I am going to remember how difficult things were. The finances. William's health, my health (major dramas the last few months). How our health affected our marriage. It has been tough. But we are all going in the right direction.
Today, even the 'worst of time' seems minimal when I think of the great blessings in my life and how very, very, very fortunate I am. The Lord is looking out for us.
Posted by Janell at 7:32 AM
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Just hanging out recovering from pneumonia. The last time I had it was four years ago, I didn't have health insurance, and I was hospitalized. This time I went to the ER before it got too out of hand and we have been fortunate to be able to treat this from home.
I have been doing my version of 'resting' to the best of my ability, because on Tuesday I travel with the kids (by my self) to take them to Washington. William will meet us for my swearing in on Friday. The last time I was in Washington with the kids was four years ago. Jaxon is the age that Jaiden was during that trip. That trip was right before Tumey was evicted.
Four years. We have a digital photo frame and I just saw a picture taken of the kids during that trip four years ago. Jaiden was my baby - 13 months old. He is now five. Levi was five back then. I don't know if this is confusing or not, but using the ages of my two youngest children right now, I am trying to remember the context of what we were facing back then. What if I had to look at my Jaiden, a daughter two years younger, and my Jaxon and think "if something happens, are they going to remember how much they were loved by their mother?" It makes me cry just to think about it. Thinking about the possibility that I could die and leave my (at the time) three very small children - my biggest concern about that scenario was the love they would miss - and probably not remember. William's father passed away when he was seven, and I have seen what a massive impact it has had on his live, and our lives together. I did not want that for my children - nobody wants that for their children.
We all know that anything could happen at any time - there are no guarantees. I am so very grateful that my two oldest children have made it to ages where hopefully their mother's love is imprinted in their identity. And I am so grateful that I get to continue to make memories and live life with my four absolutely precious children. There are a lot of things I am not good at as a homemaker and mother. I really do not enjoy cleaning. I have not had my children memorize scriptures yet. Sometimes I send them out in public clothing that I deem 'good enough.' Dinner is sometimes foraged for. The list goes one. But everyday, several times a day, I tell every child he or she is loved. And it is true. I am hoping love can make up for my deficiencies.
Tonight, my heart is so very, very, full of gratitude. Gratitude that I get to say "I love you" to four wonderful little people. Four is a great number.
(PS - Happy Father's Day! I am also so very grateful my children have such a wonderful, gentle, sweet, intelligent and wise father in their lives. One of William's best qualities is that he is a fantastic father. Love you honey!)
Posted by Janell at 9:25 PM
Saturday, May 26, 2012
My "news" of a month ago is that I passed the Washington bar - don't get me wrong, it is SUCH a massive relief! I am getting sworn into the state bar in a couple of weeks in Washington, with a real judge, in a real courtroom, and it is going to be very, very, very, very, weird to feel like a "real" attorney (who still happens to reside in another state - shoot!).
While, on one hand, I am so completely pee my pants scared of being the person signing court documents, making big decisions, speaking in court, etc - on the other hand I am so ready to be at the point where I am putting my education and bar exam trials to use.
It is SO very strange to be on this end of the 'finishing my education and passing the bar exam' journey. While the angst and agony is so very present and fresh in my mind, it also has a surreal, dream-like quality to it. I have caught myself thinking so many times "who would have come up with a plan like I did, finish law school on-line so I could take and pass the CA bar so I could take and pass the WA bar? what kind of freaky wacko would think that was a good idea?" Apparently me! It just seems a bit crazy. But when you factor in children, there really was no other way I was going to do this. Hence, the last five years of my life.
We are coming up on our 10 year anniversary - how crazy is that! Our marriage is very conveniently divided into five year intervals - our five years in Australia and our five years in the US. Our five years sharing religious view and our five years adjusting to new beliefs. Five years of being prego or a stay at home mom, five years of being a par- time student and now a part-time employee. Five years of hard time and happy times, and five years of insane trials and insanely joyful times. It feels like we have crammed 20 years of experiences into 10 years. But I am learning that while we can objectively measure one year by the 365 days it takes the earth to orbit the sun, the "feel" of the length of any given year is so subjective as to be nearly indescribable. I know, random!
I am signed up to go through mediation training in July, so that I will then be a licensed mediator - and I am excited! I'm not sure when I will actually feel qualified to mediate a case, but I am working on gaining exposure and training and this endeavor is something I have thought about doing for a decade. So yay!
The kids and hubbie are great! There are no words to describe the joy Jaxon brings our entire family. He is our little buddy. The kids have had great years! Levi is in cub scouts, Ezrie in dance, Jaiden in soccer. Levi got the top academic award in his class this week, so, of course, I took him out of school the rest of the day! =) I have got to dash, but hope to write more frequently. I miss blogging.
Posted by Janell at 6:40 PM
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Bar exam number four has come and gone. What an adventure!!! The first month of studying was superb! But figuring out how to juggle part-time work, leaving my baby with a babysitter all week, while preparing for the exam was .... stressful, to say the least. The second month brought lots of illnesses to our family that really made studying difficult. But, on a plane I went.
Posted by Janell at 8:14 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Posted by Janell at 7:19 PM
Sunday, October 30, 2011
I am so very sorry for my neglect of the blog. Things are pretty busy around here.
Posted by Janell at 11:54 AM
Sunday, July 17, 2011
We don't need a handbook - not for Jaxon. Right now, we don't have big questions about what he needs. Keep him fed, dry, burp him and love him and he is pretty content. (I am actually quite a baby hog - I know this is the last one and I am getting all the newborn cuddles in that I can - sorry local friends, I will try and share!)
Posted by Janell at 4:54 PM
Sunday, July 10, 2011
We are being discharged! Wahoooooo!!! Jaxon just needs a regular antibiotic that we can give him at home. His bilirubin levels are excellent. He's eating much better and awake more often - phewww. We'll worry about his upcoming dye exam when we get to that point - in approximately 10 days. For right now, I am going to revel in the independence of taking care of our baby in our home. What a sweet little guy!!!
Posted by Janell at 9:36 AM
Friday, July 8, 2011
Jax and I find ourselves in the local children's hospital. We've been here the last day and a half. His bilirubin level, combined with a couple of risk factors, meant that he was admitted and they started aggressive treatment to bring his bilirubin down. I get to stay with him and take care of him while he is being treated. Definitely an unforgettable phone conversation with the doctor when she called to tell me to take him straight to the hospital.
Posted by Janell at 11:55 PM
Friday, July 1, 2011
I am going to try and get some pictures on here soon. Our little Jax has the whole family enthralled and endeared with his arrival - except Jaiden. I have not seen any jealousy yet at all, but Jaiden seems very cautious around Jaxon. He's worried he'll do something that will make him cry. I have seen Jaiden be very protective - he has gotten upset with both William and I over perceived ways that we upset Jaxon: "you made the baby cry" (said with a scowly expression)! So there haven't been any of the anticipated negative reactions from our until 8 days ago youngest child (yet), but he hasn't exactly jumped on the Jaxon bandwagon either. Ezrie, as anticipated, is wanting to be VERY involved in EVERY aspect of newborn care. It has been fun to share a new baby with our daughter. Levi is surprisingly excited about his new little brother and wants to participate as well - he is very sweet and cute about wanting to know how his little baby brother is doing today.
Posted by Janell at 8:06 PM
Friday, June 24, 2011
We are in love with our little man. Jaxon Tate (who will have nicknames of Jax and JT) was born yesterday at 10:12 a.m. He is 19 inches long, and weighed 6 pound 13 ounces. Many dramas surrounded his birthday, but he is here, he and I are doing very well, and life is great.
Posted by Janell at 2:04 PM
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Complications have meant that baby is coming in less than 12 hours ..... we"ll see how it goes to have our first (and only) baby in the U.S.
Posted by Janell at 10:14 PM
Friday, June 10, 2011
My usual end of pregnancy problems have really gone into overdrive the last couple of weeks. I've been put on bedrest until the end of the pregnancy, which I am trying to interpret with three kids all home from school for the summer! At the very latest, this baby is coming on July 6, which is when we have the c-section booked for at the moment. However, at my appointment this week, my doctor did not think we'd get that far.
Posted by Janell at 7:25 PM
Monday, May 9, 2011
So I guess in the past, Washington State did not release your failing score. That is not the case any longer. Today I was surprised to get my exam responses with my scores in the mail.
Posted by Janell at 9:13 PM
Thursday, May 5, 2011
I think the wallowing has come to an end. The words 'failure' and 'loser' are not continually going through my conscious mind, so that is a step in the right direction.
Posted by Janell at 2:34 PM
Monday, May 2, 2011
Right now the big picture is cloudy. Just a few weeks ago I was certain that whatever the outcome of this exam, it was Heavenly Father's will for me.
Posted by Janell at 11:19 PM
Another bar failure for me.
Posted by Janell at 5:15 PM