It seems harder and harder to get on these days to write a post.
Life is full.
The summer was very interesting. One of these days I will give the full account. For now, I will say that it was a time of thinking and growing.
William is (I hesitantly type) doing a bit better. Levi and Ezrie both go to school all day now. Jaiden just started preschool four mornings a week. I am hanging out at a law office while he is in school soaking it all in and trying to figure out what it means to practice law as an attorney. Seminary has so much potential this year if I can get my act together - working on it.
We recently lost a pregnancy. Is there an easy way to say that? We had some roller coaster days where we had the major shock of finding out we were expecting, followed by doctor's visits and lab work and tests that were confusing. They were crazy days - yes everything is fine, no it's not OK, yes - everything is fine, and finally - no.
I have miscarried once before, but the circumstances were different in that we found out about that pregnancy because of the miscarriage. This time, I had a few days of intense and extreme joy, happiness, gratitude. I made the phone calls of shock and excitement. With our three children, once we got back the positive at home pregnancy tests that was it - we were making plans. And so I quickly had the next few months of my life planned out (as I like to do). And I liked the plans. But - it was not meant to be.
It just takes one of these experiences to realize you really really don't want to be in the position ever again where you have to go back and tell people that your happy news is no longer happy.
My heart aches even more for my sweet friends who go through these struggles year after year. I know how difficult this experience has been for me, even having three children to comfort me. I pray for those going through one of the most difficult ongoing trials I can imagine.
I do not know all things, but the Lord knoweth all things to come.
