I think the wallowing has come to an end. The words 'failure' and 'loser' are not continually going through my conscious mind, so that is a step in the right direction.
Washington releases failed exams differently than CA - aren't I so very lucky that I know that? =) With California, you automatically get a copy of the written portion of your exam, and your overall score, with your officially mailed results. With Washington, I have to request my exam and my understanding is that I won't ever find out my score. Which is just irritating. I did pass day three, which was on ethics, so that part I won't have to retake, providing I retake the substantive part and pass within two years. I small consolation. Happier is that having passed the ethics portion reduces my registration fees for next time by half.
So, I just have to have this exam hanging over me for quite some time. The exam is administered in July and February of each year. I clearly won't be taking the July exam with a newborn baby. I also don't think I'll take the Feb 2012 exam, because our little guy will only be five months when I have to start studying for that exam - and that is just too young. I don't want to take a July exam, because that means four kids missing out on a summer with mom - and I'm not going to do that. So, most likely I'll be taking the Feb 2013 Washington Exam. Which is right when William will be finishing up his coursework and dissertation.
I am not excited that this process has to keep going on and on and on for so long. But - what can I do?
In the meantime, I started a new, perfect for me, job this week that has helped me focus on something else. I am working two days a week at a law firm with some very spectacular people. William also has a new part-time job that he's able to do three days a week while continuing his studies. In the matter of two weeks our financially situation has completely changed, and that is very happy.
